Healthcare: the next generation

It is the year 2011. Humanity has come a long way in just the last 2000 years. On this day 2 millennia ago (wow sounds epic when you say it that way huh!) the romans were a dominant force, the west has hanging off the edge of the earth and the moon was always white and not that sometimes ugly brown color we see in the modern era. At that time, the idea of human rights was in its infancy; Aristotle had presented a general idea or civil rights about 350 years before Common Era, but universal human rights were just a speck of thought amongst that revolutionary philosophy. It would be about 1800 years or so before Human rights in the sense we can relate to today would be outlined in the Twelve Articles, in the early 1500s.

At that time, the idea of a doctor was someone who may have put leaches on you to cure an illness. You would hire a man who castrates pigs to perform a caesarean on your wife. Obviously healthcare was not something that was sanitary, proactive or effectively efficient. The way I see it, if you had to go to a doctor in the 1500s, might as well make you next errand a stop at the mortician to provide your measurements.

Naturally anything that happened between 1500s and 70 years ago, with respect to healthcare, was minimal and probably overlooked because a doctor was little more than the man selling snake oil out of a taco bus. Today, that is vastly different, we have over the counter medicines that help prevent symptoms of the flu, relieve head aches and even help prevent unwanted pregnancy…none of this was even imagined less than two hundred years ago. The last 70 years has enriched our knowledge of humanities illnesses and health dilemmas; as the healthcare field becomes more mature, our view at what is a right to humanity should be considered. At the very least the definition of civil rights should be amended to include preventative health care.

The Declaration of Independence, the second section has the phrase common knowledge to everyone but whose meaning is often skewed and turns into a punch line for American politicians:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Had the pen masters and architects of the American way of life foreseen the advancements of medicine, I assure you most certainly that they would have said that explicitly as well. The premise of life is health, in this I mean that life cannot exist with you first being born with some form of health. You do not need to be perfectly healthy (ex. 10 fingers/toes) to be alive, but you do have to be able to pass oxygen to your cells and convert food into useful energy for your body to use to continue to live. Had the procedure and the methods used to ensure basic health been performed in the 1700s It is indisputable that the founder would have included healthcare with life since they do obviously want us to live with liberty and have the ability to pursue happiness, having poor health would make it more difficult, and sometimes impossible to obtain liberty and freely pursue happiness. Of course, making healthcare a right would not alleviate these difficulties for some, but they would make some of those who would otherwise be on an unequal playing field from the start more able to achieve these goals. A simple example would be a child born with a malady that prevents speaking, healthcare being a right would have the malady corrected and able to speak throughout their life rather than being a mute who has ambitions of being a singer but because they only have a right to live and not to healthcare, and thus are not able to pursue their happiness i.e. to sing.

I am basically saying that had they known that we can cure disease with a shot, solve birth defects with a scalpel and give the sick medicines that made them well, the architects would have included it. They not included it because at the time, medicine was leaches, fixing defects was cutting it off which may have led to more problems and probably death, and giving someone medicine was tantamount to getting them drunk enough so they don’t feel the thing that hurts. Would you include in that famous phrase “life, liberty, plenty of leeches, and pursuit of happiness.” Probably not, and that’s why they didn’t!

Android is finally on its way to the top....

Ecosystem chaos in the Android operating system, being open source, gives so much freedom to hardware makers. The only thing that Google can do is make it so that certain apps show up in your market when you try to find something and not show up in your friends because of the hardware divergence. Not to mention the fact that vendors do stupid shit like with the Dell Streak, which launched with a ridiculously old version of android, and then loading unstable crapware? The fact that the hardware makers are seeing this issue and being responsible about it is only going to help android sales, since we know that the number of apps is what sells these kinds of devices. With a streamlining of form factors in general (ie. evo and thunderbolt are relatively similar in form factor), then improve the quality of internals as they become available (ie CPU, Ram amount/size, battery technology, lte/ wimax, dual band, camera, gyro ect...) but keeping the same basic design will lead to app devs to be able to write one version of the app that will work on all devices with such and such minimum specs (just too weed out extremely old tech like the htc touch), rather than writing for things with this exact screen size and resolution, or only a rear facing camera and not a front. Little things like that that drives people like me up a wall. The idea that devs like having to always be coding on one app and not move on to another app idea is ridiculous. Luckily, because of diversity, the newest 2.2/2.3 sdks have made functions that help alleviate this issue with, but unfortunately some small annoyances remain. HTC and Moto have finally stopped releasing devices that significantly differ and this eases tension put on app devs to quickly, effectively, and smoothly develop the app, get it out of beta and advertise the public launches.

Android apps are projected to surpass apple in the coming year and it is in no small way due to the manufactures finally sticking with an idea that works and building on that.
http://techcrunch.com/2011/05/05/android-to-surpass-apples-app-store-in-size-in-august-2011-report-exclusive/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Techcrunch+%28TechCrunch%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

Brainwashing pisses me off...whether its democratic, republican or socialist...

I am the first to admit that I don't have the answers to, well, anything. I do not claim exasperated hours researching and creatively finding solutions to the country's (or worlds) problems. However I do have a brain. And with that brain I hope that I can shed some light to those who are ignorant, or have been persuaded to trust bullshit lines from con artists.

I am a registered voter, a democrat so it says on my nice little card hidden in one of the folds of my wallet. The thing is, I don't always agree with that party. True, I am a social liberal, I think everyone should have equality (plug for gay rights), a womans right to her body (go figure!) and the rights or immigrants to enter the country to work and raise their child in a country where some sort of education is some what possible. Personally I wouldn't choose America to teach my kid, but that big pond to Europe is a bit too far and its easier to jump a fence.

Back to the topic...

Lets take something that is huge here in Florida, or was for a while. A few years back the state decided to put on paper a plan to create a bullet train to help alleviate a number of concerns ranging from environmental to traffic congestion. I will first list the reasons why I at first thought this was a great idea. It would help tourism, people come to Florida for Miami and Disney. So when you can fly into MIA, vacation a bit on South Beach and then take a 2 and a half hour (the amount of time estimated to travel) train ride to get to Disney and visit Mickey with your kids, it sounds like a good method to invite northern tourists to Florida, spend their money on tourist stuff rather than gas and a rental car to get from A to B. This way they don't have to limit their trip this time to save money and they get to experience the entire state! Great idea! Also, there is the working force; I live in Tampa, and I know people take I-4 to Lakeland and Orlando for work every day! A bullet train would make their commute easier, less dangerous (crashes!! I mean you can text in a train, but not in your car!) and I thought (as figures projected at the time) cheaper! Another bonus for the idea!

Then a few things happened between roughly 2001 and 2011. The country went into recession, the state had some crappy governors, a few natural disasters and costs were higher than expected ten years ago which was probably due to the recession but I don't want to speculate that was the only issue. The new Governor Rick Scott, recently essentially vetoed the idea, and at the same time rejected lots of money from the feds that would have HELPED pay the costs to build the train. When I tell democrats that I felt this was a good move of Scotty's part (not how he did it but what he did! There is a difference) they call me republican and think I love the bald headed Lex Luther cut out! I want to profess, this guy is a dick, a fraud, a criminal and he bought himself an election based on ignorance, the same kind of ignorance I wish I could correct. Now I will tell you why I agreed with this asshole...

It is 2011, the couple of billion dollars provided by the Feds would have only covered a fraction of the building costs, none of the maintenance and wouldn't subsidize the costs. Not only that but the plan was structured to build the train in stages. Now, stages are a great idea! Only problem is we are in a recession and stages would make current costs to build the thing, and later to ride it, artificially inflated! Meaning, it would cost too much to do right now! Not that it shouldn't be done ever but not right now. But mu democrat friends, whom I great respect, admire and even at time revere, didn't hearing facts like round trips were projected (recently) to cost 60 bucks, and the first phase was going to take about 2-4 years to finish and would only go from Tampa to Orlando...for 60! thats more than it would cost to drive, granted about 30 minutes faster, but not something that many people here could do at that price! Don't take my word for it, do some digging! Yet the democrats have the people completely brainwashed into thinking this was a god thing to do right now. Wat I was asking for was, let us take that money the feds were offering and help out the public transit already in existence here in Florida, which sucks! Alas, a good idea always falls on deaf ears that just hear what they don't want to believe in just to hold on to their anger about something the wanted instead of something they needed!

Bullet train idea, please don't die, just come back after the recession!

This is just one of the many things I find that my logical deduction of the situation has put me at odds with my “brethren.” Then there are the fuckers who this Rush Limbaugh is a demigod here to save the world from abortionists and progressive equality people! They forget that he is addicted to prescription drugs, openly makes questionably bigoted statements and re-enacments of paralyzed, insulted American troops because they had a mind of their own (but still followed orders as their commission demanded) and not unlike others in media, twists facts regularly to suit his own points yet presents these ideas as factual statements. I am not one for condemning a man for one transgression, or even two...but there is a point where I just look at a person and ask myself “how immoral is this ass?”

Yet people revere him and other like Beck and that ilk. Not only that but fact checking and correcting these pricks seems to have no impact on their followers. This kind of brainwashing pisses me off just as much as democratic brainwashing. I an biased, I admit, I want freedom, peace and equality. I want the government to help those who need it, the rich to contribute more proportionally to the government to aid these programs to help the poor, I want wars to be the absolute last resort and not something that America is known for.

Fuck, I must be a brainwashed fool to think that people could see reason, have patience and be kind and just to each other. Ok, time to return you to your normally broad casted life, continue to think that the president isn't american, continue to think that the bible is gods written word and please feel free to think that global warming isn't something we should try to avoid, whether or not it is actually happening or not. All in all proceed to have your intellect erased and your thinking patterns assimilated.

A post I saw about why someone is a republican...

Saw this on a blog and jsut had to say something...




Top 30 reasons why I vote republican


1.I have full confidence in myself and my ability to make decisions, I don't need the media, or MTV to influence me
Yet Glen beck had most of the lot out on the lawn saying Obama wasn't born an American and that a "Health Czar" is not in keeping with American politics.


2. Before every time of peace, there was a prior war.
Because people like you keep wanting to stop the peace and create the next war...

3. If matter cannot be created or destroyed, who…or what created matter
First of all, that is a law of thermo dynamics you are misquoting there. In the law of conservation of energy it says ENERGY cannot be created or destroyed. Energy is the only things that existed as far as our current level of technological observation can tell going back to seconds after the big bang. So in answer to your question, energy created matter. Particle accelerators convert energy into subatomic particles all the time, for example by colliding electrons and positrons. Some of the kinetic energy in the collision goes into creating new particles a.k.a matter! Read a book!


4. I believe women and ethnic minorities are smart enough and capable enough to make it on their own; they do not need the government to help them
Later down this list you say you don't accept handouts except from family. What if your family wasn't willing to give you a hand or you have no family to help? Not to mention people are racist and sexist, so with some many of these people the only chance to make it is to get some help to get on your feet and bypass the idiots with the problems.


5. The long run always out-weights the short run
And do we have to wait until the second coming of Christ for this long run to grant us benefits? We have to think in both worlds what will help us now and will continue to help in the future. no tunnel vision, open up to progressive ideas that help here and then.


6. Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun.
Then do you need a gun for, just use his car...


7. I believe if you want to come to this country you should play by our rules. That is how it is in every other nation of the world
And the first rule in America is freedom!
8. How many times have you ever been hired full-time by a poor person?????
How many times has a homeless person been hired full time by a wealthy person?


9. Except for family, I don't take handouts
Again, what if you have no family to help you?


10. I believe it is wrong to cheat on your wife (or spouse)
Then why do republicans do it as often as democrats? Being a dick does not follow party lines.


11. I believe immigrants are good hard working citizens, but without learning the language, accepting our culture and traditions, and PAYING TAXES, they will always be looked down upon. It is for their own benefit to do this
I agree, they want to work here learn the language that will certainly help! as far as culture, American culture is so diverse, my culture wouldn't mesh well with someone from another state even! Paying taxes are very important, if only it didn’t take 10 years of not paying taxes because you are waiting for citizenship and getting paid a third of minimum wage to survive.


12. Texas has the death penalty and the lowest crime rate. I wonder if there is a correlation between the two?
Where did you get your stats? I just looked at the stats and the average for the country Texas was higher than the national average for violent crime.
http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/cats/law_enforcement_courts_prisons/crimes_and_crime_rates.html


13. Arizona and North Carolina have low taxes, and high job growth. I wonder if there is a correlation between the two?
Ok, douche, .4% lower than national average is nothing to be proud about. If the unemployment was like 3-5% lower than nat. average then I would agree.
14. California has the highest number of immigrants using the healthcare and education systems. Cali also has the largest deficit. I wonder if there is a correlation between the two.
Easy solution, Legalize marijuana, tax and regulate it like alcohol or cigarettes and that will spike revenue. As far as not helping, this country is founded by immigrants you fucktard, it is un-American to not help them.
15. New York and California have the highest Corporate taxes. I wonder why that is why companies form those states are downsizing, outsourcing, or just plain leaving.
New York has a huge corporate standing, and paying the CEOs and CFOs loads. It’s the labor jobs being outsourced, the jobs that are given to people who aren’t wearing a suit to work. Outsource the CEO that will lower the cost to run the company!
16.When it comes to voting Gay rights, Abortion, and Separation of Church and State are important issues to me, but not as important as Monetary, Moral, and Military issues.
Monetary is so complex that I am not sure you or I understand it fully, Morality is subjective and you cannot hold others to your standard of morality. If I did that to you, I would say you are immoral for not wanting to help immigrants.  Military, I agree that is huge, so are you for or against helping them get an education after serving or is that too much for the government to do the men in service can fend for themselves?
17. I believe Defense, Police, Firefighters, Healthcare, Education, and Roads/Public Transportation should be the bulk of Government spending.
Then how come those are the first things your party cuts when figuring a budget?
18. A country who forgets about its defenders, will also soon be forgotten
Too true!
19. I believe in finding a solution to a problem, not protesting about a problem
If I didn’t protest about an issue that didn’t affect you how would people know it was hurting me.
20. Correct me if I am wrong but I believe it was the same democrats that cried over Separation of church and state when republicans tried to institute prayer in public Schools. So explain to me how democrats are trying to force a law on the church, (or any religious institution) forcing them to marry gays, is consistent. Isn’t Church and state supposed to be separate? I thought we could not impose laws on Religious institutions? But hey…Gays should be unionized somehow!!! I believe They should have the same rights as married couples such as taxes, etc.
Marriage is not a religious affair, it is a legal matter, you get a marriage license form the state not a church you dip shit! Separation is still upheld, the government is not doing anything with the church. The church can choose to be bigots all they want, but the government cannot do that and by granting marriage licenses to GLBT community, they are providing what your said was ok, a unionization and being given equal rights. That whole separate but equal shit does not fly anymore bud.


21. Under a republican president, the rich still pay the highest amount in taxes. So what is everyone crying about?
The top 1% are paying the bulk of the money, but not proportional to their income. Lower tax brackets are paying more in proportion than the top 1% even if more physical cash comes from the top…
 22. Pharmaceutical companies are not evil corporations that mark-up their prices for fun. They have something called overhead. It cost millions of dollars to get a drug out on the market. That is if it is approved by the FDA of course.
Then how come they have the biggest profit margins ever, R&D costs granted, marketing granted, but how can they have so much liquid cash if they are bumping the prices well above needed?
23. People complain about the price of gas, but they don't want companies to drill in Alaska. This would only double or own supply, make us less dependent on foreign oil, and cut prices in half. Supply and Demand people.
Environment!!!! Look at the gulf incident! Instead of fighting for drill baby drill, why aren’t we pushing for wind turbines? Or take advantage of ocean currents? These “green” methods will create the same about of energy as your oil and not killing the earth for a non-renewable resource that simultaneously kills the planet.
24. American Troops should be allowed to shoot to kill, because that is what the enemy does.
Yes because an eye for an eye is a great policy. Sun Tzu would be so proud…
25. Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, War Has Never Solved Anything
War only had to end slavery because people like you wouldn’t move past a stupid set of ideas. I will give you the end of the Nazi regime, there was no way out of that because there is no talking reason to an irrational person, much less an irrational brainwashed countries populous.
26. I believe marijuana is a gateway drug, and that has also been proven.
Only because the people you get the weed from now are also selling other things and possibly lacing the product to get you hooked on other things. Regulation would end that now to mention the fact that when I was smoking weed, I was also a consumer of alcohol, so your jack daniels is a gateway drug too in that sense!
27. Paying people by commission increases total revenue, and productivity
That does work in some business models, like Ponzi schemes.
28. The more you sue McDonalds, the more they will raise their prices
The more you eat McDonalds the higher you push healthcare prices...now I am gonna sue you!!!!
29. I believe everyone is equal, and when it comes to opportunity the more you put in, the more you get out.
Everyone is equal in the “Animal Farm” sense or in the “separate but equal” sense?
 30. I believe America is the land of opportunity, and freedom, (move to North Korea and tell me how free you are) but freedom is not free.
And freedom isn’t what your think it means, at least not in America these days….Oh you are free to say whatever you want, just don’t do it in an Airport, in front of the cops, on the radio…you now those kind of places.

Non-Kosher Beef Part II...What if the lobster is circumcised?

Of course I speak in hyperbole, I do not think that Moses, or Hitler, made those decisions based on morals, divinely inspired or not.

Moving on, I would like to correct the good rabbi on his misconception of evolution and racism. No, the theory of evolution does not support racism. It is widely known, and scholarly accepted, that human variants (races) are recent occurrence. Genetically speaking the differences between races are superficial and minor; there are no biologically "favored races." Cultural interpretations are the basis for perceived natural biological distinctions of races, not on biology. True, when looking at the whole of a species, there are characteristics that separate certain groups into races. Statistical averages of members of different races may have (statistically averaged) better capability at certain traits like high endurance, strength, higher capacity of learning, or better ability to handle climate changes ect… However, to say all members of said race are better at given ability over all members of another race is ridiculous and ignorant, thus no “superior race.” The only way you could have a “superior race” would be if some group evolved into and became the next more highly evolved species above Homo-Sapiens (X-Men!!!!!), in which case it would become a superior species, separated significantly from our own through genetic mutations.

My turn! Since you are a rabbi, I will stick to the Old Testament/ Torah. Let’s go with the story of Noah, post-flood. One night, after partying hard and “winning,” Noah got real drunk and passed out, with a bottle in one hand and his clothes nowhere to be seen. Yes, he was inebriated and naked the next morning when his son Ham found him in his tent. (GEN 9:20-27) After “seeing his father’s nakedness” and then, rather than cloth his father with a sheet he went and told his brothers, probably out of jest as in “hey, dad drank way too much look!!” The brothers, without looking on their dad (and I suppose the moral is to be more respectful of a drunk naked old guy) they covered him. He woke up, and discovered what Ham had done, and instead of punishing Ham, he went for Canaan (Hams 4^th and youngest son) and cursed him to be a servant.

Now, I do not see anything really racist in this picture. In fact I think it is one of the funnies stories in the whole bible! I mean, your dad is drunk off his ass naked in a tent…gotta crack a smirk! But, the implications of this story, and others told in other Jewish text like The Talmud, have implied racial undertones. Granted, many have been disputed citing other biblical references, but this only shows the discord amongst believers and how basically no group of said believe can get one story and stick to it….a topic for another blog post. However, it is not important what the bible says exactly as much as what the readers tend to think it says. We can see what people thought things meant by looking at other historical records. People believe that Ham is the Father of the Africans (via Cush), and this Curse of Ham was the justification for African Slavery, making his descendants slaves seems to be a pretty good curse right? Again, nowhere does it explicitly say anything racial, in fact it was Canaan (Hams 4^th and youngest son) who was directly cursed by Noah to be a servant, not Cush. Yet, there may be some cultural reasons to take some liberties with the story. Thus supporting my earlier remarks that, it is not biology that supports racial prejudice, it is cultural ignorance. Again, it’s not what the book actually says, like your reading of Darwin; we are just read it how we think we want to… And so, racial prejudice and general ignorance was born.

my non kosher beef with a rabbi...

Rabbi Adam Jacobs, WTF!

Ok, so the argument that is being refered to in his article (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-adam-jacobs/atheisms-odd-relationship_b_839352.html) is the classic is morality granted from divinity or not, and if not where does the human sense of morality come from?
First of all, he mentions a talk on TED by Sam Harris, author (among other works) of the Moral landscape, in February 2010. I found this talk entertaining and very eloquent in his ability to put into simple language such a complex idea.

In the First half of the talk a point was brought up from Proverbs regarding beating a child to teach obedience. I wonder if the rabbi agrees with such a statement that you should beat your children into obedience (Proverbs 23:13). I can tell you from my experience, I loved it when my mother tried to beat me, as I got older and older it hurt her more and more to try and hurt me. Once she swung kitchen spoon at me hitting my blocking arm (less the spoon would hit my face) and it vibrated so much just from my block it ended up hurting her. Yet she still as I grew tried as she might to try and hurt me. The last time, as my memory serves I was about 14 and she balled up her fist and hit me in the chest and instantly, grabbed her hand and ran away. I had nothing more than a tender spot for about an hour. So years went by, trying to hit me, and she never learned her lesson…stop trying to hurt the boy you will only hurt yourself. So at about 12 I realized, obviously hurting someone does not teach them a damn thing, much less obedience. Had she learned anything she would have learned, get my dad mad at me as that is the only way I would come close to “behaving” myself until I turned about 15 anyways. There have been many philosophical and psychological debates over the years and you know what? Beating a child does not teach obedience, it only teaches the kid to grow up and hit children as adults!
Obviously I think it is immoral to beat a child, I also admit (because of my own raising) that I may one day hit my own child out of anger. Even typing the words I am ashamed of myself for conceptually being capable of such an act. Those how take proverbs at their words, bible literalists and the like, would not be so morally troubled by beating their child. Now how can my morality and their morality on this one issue both are divinely inspired? If my morality truly came from the a god(s), Bible, Koran or Bhagavad Gita ect… then I would not feel so bad for thinking I may one day be capable of an act that I consider completely heinous.
Morality is subjective in more ways than one. If the 1950’s on television, you would never see a man and woman in the same bed as one another. In fact, I clearly remember most of the time there was some sort of night stand with a small lamp on it separating two twin beds! Today however, it is not morally questionable (to the general population) to show to the public a man and woman (sometimes more than one or the other or both!) in the same bed. This is a clear paradigm shift in the American concept of morality on television.
Morality is so diverse depending on where you grow up, what era you are a part of, what side of the tracks you are on ect… With morality varying so much, amongst people of the same line of thinking (i.e. One Christians morality is not like the other) whether it be religious or not, how can it possibly come from a single source!
Now we can all say something like “it is morally wrong to kill.” And I think that, with just that statement, most people of any line of thinking would agree in principle. However, among those who would say it is wrong to kill, many would agree with the death penalty. Possibly they would exclaim that there are times when war is needed to settle a resolution and thus people will be killed/ murdered. I am sure I can make more scenarios where murder would be something that evens those who would valiantly fight to say killing is morally wrong would agree in that one circumstance, killing was the “ONLY” way to resolve the situation. Not only that but every day, if you are a believer of the god of Abraham, god kills! You never hear “Thank god that man down the street died, he was such a nice man.” But if you are a believer, how can you deny that it was god who killed that man? Is then your god moral? What about Moses, I mean he freed the Jews, gave us the Ten Commandments which were passed down from god to him directly! Surely he has got to be a moral man. But let me paint a scenario for you that some of you may or may not recognize. A man with +/- 500 followers is walking in the desert. They just fought for their own lives, freedom and rights to worship their god and not a pharaoh who acts as if he were a god. They stumble across a small nation, full of people with different beliefs who worship gods of a different color. They kill all of them! Is that moral? If so Hitler really may have been divinely inspired to make the holocaust! As we all know he went for the Jews, and god has shit on the Jews himself quite a few times for breaking the Abrahamic Covenant, maybe this time god use Hitler to do some of his dirty work! Is Hitler now moral?

to be continued...

a lesson learned through a hard head...

As it is, I am a person who prides himself on the fact that I don't rely on many people to live; thus it is difficult for me to accept that sometimes people are worth the chance to trust them. I learned over the past few days subtle facts of life, and relationships, that mean trusting someone with my reliance and that it is okay to ask for help when you need it.
Living the life that I have and getting as far as I have so far has lead me to a few quirks about my character and have impacted my world view in numerous ways. One way being, I have always felt that asking for assistance was synonymous with my lack of ability and ending in a resultant failure. I just recently found this one woman who, as amazed as I am, seems to really like me. I convince myself every time that I am with her that I should brush logic aside and my emotional connection is real and emotional thoughts are actually right this time. I sometimes forget that when I am not looking into her eyes that she may actually care about my wellbeing and wants to help me any way she can whenever I need it. She write things that make it seem as if she were idealistic, I’ve never had the chance to relax and just hope for the best so my idealistic nature has been whittled down to a microscopic size. Whether she knows it or not, she is changing me making me into a better person. She says that I am “awesome,” once even commented that I am “…a god among mere mortals, in intellect, finesse, and skill.” Whether or not she was simply trying to hype up my own ego, as if that needed any more inflation, I took her for her word that she truly thinks this highly of me. She doesn’t realize the impact she has on my composure and will when I am near her, she probably has less understanding of how much her words mean to me. I push my emotional attachment to the back of my mind and hope I don’t blurt out something that my lower mental framework is trying so desperately to push above my intrusive cerebral foundation. I wish I knew a way to convey the utter astonishment her existence throws to me. For someone to honestly convey those kinds of thoughts about me, makes me believe her world view is possible and that that rosier outlook on the world may not be so contrary to my realistic point of view. I hope she read this and sees that it, in this short time I’ve known her, she has helped change my life with such simple acts as telling me that she thinks I am a great guy. As selfish as this is, I hope I do not mess this up.