a lesson learned through a hard head...

As it is, I am a person who prides himself on the fact that I don't rely on many people to live; thus it is difficult for me to accept that sometimes people are worth the chance to trust them. I learned over the past few days subtle facts of life, and relationships, that mean trusting someone with my reliance and that it is okay to ask for help when you need it.
Living the life that I have and getting as far as I have so far has lead me to a few quirks about my character and have impacted my world view in numerous ways. One way being, I have always felt that asking for assistance was synonymous with my lack of ability and ending in a resultant failure. I just recently found this one woman who, as amazed as I am, seems to really like me. I convince myself every time that I am with her that I should brush logic aside and my emotional connection is real and emotional thoughts are actually right this time. I sometimes forget that when I am not looking into her eyes that she may actually care about my wellbeing and wants to help me any way she can whenever I need it. She write things that make it seem as if she were idealistic, I’ve never had the chance to relax and just hope for the best so my idealistic nature has been whittled down to a microscopic size. Whether she knows it or not, she is changing me making me into a better person. She says that I am “awesome,” once even commented that I am “…a god among mere mortals, in intellect, finesse, and skill.” Whether or not she was simply trying to hype up my own ego, as if that needed any more inflation, I took her for her word that she truly thinks this highly of me. She doesn’t realize the impact she has on my composure and will when I am near her, she probably has less understanding of how much her words mean to me. I push my emotional attachment to the back of my mind and hope I don’t blurt out something that my lower mental framework is trying so desperately to push above my intrusive cerebral foundation. I wish I knew a way to convey the utter astonishment her existence throws to me. For someone to honestly convey those kinds of thoughts about me, makes me believe her world view is possible and that that rosier outlook on the world may not be so contrary to my realistic point of view. I hope she read this and sees that it, in this short time I’ve known her, she has helped change my life with such simple acts as telling me that she thinks I am a great guy. As selfish as this is, I hope I do not mess this up.