Read the Bible is not a good answer…

My friends and family have a wide variety of beliefs; I for one have an “interesting” set of beliefs myself. This post is not about my ever changing and growing “spiritual” philosophy or ideas because the moment I post any such thing, the next day I may have learned a new bit of info, or seen a new truth in person that would alter or annihilate the previous days writing. Today, I will write about the answer I get from most Christians “read the bible.” As if they assume, once I tell them I am an agnostic who lives his day to day as if I were an atheist, that I have never read the bible (or any religions text) and that I must be too heretical to heed the word of god.
**Let me clarify something, I am agnostic as that definition is the closest to my beliefs based on my logic, which like any logic of man can and probably is faulted. I am an atheist in my day to day life style as I do not pray, request of even consider god in my life decisions and actions. For all intents and purposes I am atheist, but due to the nature of a higher power being unknowable at this time, I am classified agnostic. That is all you will hear about my philosophy at this moment.**
First I will state a truth; I have read the bible 4 times in my life, granted they were different versions. I first read the King James Bible in middle school, as that was what was given to me at my Lutheran baptism when I was a baby. Next was the English Standard Version in the first year of high school, as that seemed to be more contemporary and easier to read kind of English because let’s face it, KJV is just as bad as Shakespeare at times. Next in 11th and 12th grade was Young's Literal Translation (revised) because I personally don’t speak any ancient language and when I read “literal translation” I figured “hey, this is about as close as I’ll get right!?” And finally about 5 years ago I read through Thomas Jefferson’s bible, I grant you that counting this is a bit of a cheat but I think this gives a very good basis for the philosophy that the New Testament tries to convey, so I do count it among my 4. To be honest, it’s my favorite of all of them!
So, I have read the bible a few times even if you don’t count the Jefferson Bible.
Now, on to my contention: Saying “read the bible it will answer (insert question here), and you will understand” is assuming that first of all I am lazy and do not do my research before asking questions, I take that as an insult. But let’s just say that you don’t mean to insult but are just trying to convey that the answer is in this book, just in case I wasn’t aware, still no; the answers are not all in there because my questions were derived from that very book you are referring me back to. Questions like, if Jesus died for all our sins of the past, present and future (Hebrews 10:12-14) how come original sin is not included in that forgiveness? How come once he died we didn’t get a blank slate and all revert to the way Adam and Eve were without shame, pain and labor of childbirth, seemingly endless life, and without the knowing that came from eating of the tree of knowledge of good and evil since that’s what lead eventually the first murder by Canaan? If you can find the answer to that question in the bible, not some parable about how humans need to learn how to come close to god because we have free will and choose faith, but an actual logical answer then I will admit that my studious reading of the bible, and the non-canonical books of the Apocrypha, bore no fruit and I should try again. I’ve waiting for that answer since 8th grade by the way; it was one of my first legitimate questions. I say legitimate because like all young men, I was/ am an idiot and sometimes asked ridiculous questions just to prompt the expression of exasperation that seemed to please my pride as I too suffer from its ill effects. Proverbs 29:23 makes my point here; I wish to retain my honor and thus, my first legitimate question is just that, I have yet to hear an answer beyond “read the bible.”
Next was a question that came to me in a dream once. I was about 16 and I wondered how come there is a bible in the first place? Is it a book of history, parables and educational tales, a book of premonitions or is it the word of god? I asked a Christian friend this question this was her answer to the best of my memory “it’s all of those, it is god’s word that tells the history of man, teaches him how to live a good life and get into heaven and tell the future of humanity so we know the god does have a plan.” The next few days were a blur in school, I only thought of her answer; geometry and English class took a back seat to this mental debacle. I thought about what I had read in the bible, what I had seen in life and noticed a stark contrast in the main point about it being god’s word. Why try to tell the prophets, who wrote god’s word, anything if we as human beings can never understand gods plan? Why give us mere mortals who now know of both good and evil reason a taste of further understanding and yet create us with a lack of ability to comprehend it all? Finally (its sort of a three part question) why create man with the ability to comprehend imperfection if it wasn’t expected of them to stay that way? Again, there pare parables in the bible about man being unequal to angels which may have the potential for understanding, but that’s still leaves me wanting in the sense that why make man, give him a book and never expect him to truly understand until they are in heaven when they no longer needs its lessons since heaven itself is perfection? You may say it’s not for us to know gods reason for this just like it’s not for the lower level employee to question and know what the board of directors and CEO are doing, fair answer sure but how come it’s not for us as mortal humans to know, especially when you give us an “answer” in the bible but are intentionally vague about it? That’s like the CEO giving out books to all the workers knowing that they would never understand it. The bible will not answer this question either, please cite this answer if it does...