Read the Bible is not a good answer…

My friends and family have a wide variety of beliefs; I for one have an “interesting” set of beliefs myself. This post is not about my ever changing and growing “spiritual” philosophy or ideas because the moment I post any such thing, the next day I may have learned a new bit of info, or seen a new truth in person that would alter or annihilate the previous days writing. Today, I will write about the answer I get from most Christians “read the bible.” As if they assume, once I tell them I am an agnostic who lives his day to day as if I were an atheist, that I have never read the bible (or any religions text) and that I must be too heretical to heed the word of god.
**Let me clarify something, I am agnostic as that definition is the closest to my beliefs based on my logic, which like any logic of man can and probably is faulted. I am an atheist in my day to day life style as I do not pray, request of even consider god in my life decisions and actions. For all intents and purposes I am atheist, but due to the nature of a higher power being unknowable at this time, I am classified agnostic. That is all you will hear about my philosophy at this moment.**
First I will state a truth; I have read the bible 4 times in my life, granted they were different versions. I first read the King James Bible in middle school, as that was what was given to me at my Lutheran baptism when I was a baby. Next was the English Standard Version in the first year of high school, as that seemed to be more contemporary and easier to read kind of English because let’s face it, KJV is just as bad as Shakespeare at times. Next in 11th and 12th grade was Young's Literal Translation (revised) because I personally don’t speak any ancient language and when I read “literal translation” I figured “hey, this is about as close as I’ll get right!?” And finally about 5 years ago I read through Thomas Jefferson’s bible, I grant you that counting this is a bit of a cheat but I think this gives a very good basis for the philosophy that the New Testament tries to convey, so I do count it among my 4. To be honest, it’s my favorite of all of them!
So, I have read the bible a few times even if you don’t count the Jefferson Bible.
Now, on to my contention: Saying “read the bible it will answer (insert question here), and you will understand” is assuming that first of all I am lazy and do not do my research before asking questions, I take that as an insult. But let’s just say that you don’t mean to insult but are just trying to convey that the answer is in this book, just in case I wasn’t aware, still no; the answers are not all in there because my questions were derived from that very book you are referring me back to. Questions like, if Jesus died for all our sins of the past, present and future (Hebrews 10:12-14) how come original sin is not included in that forgiveness? How come once he died we didn’t get a blank slate and all revert to the way Adam and Eve were without shame, pain and labor of childbirth, seemingly endless life, and without the knowing that came from eating of the tree of knowledge of good and evil since that’s what lead eventually the first murder by Canaan? If you can find the answer to that question in the bible, not some parable about how humans need to learn how to come close to god because we have free will and choose faith, but an actual logical answer then I will admit that my studious reading of the bible, and the non-canonical books of the Apocrypha, bore no fruit and I should try again. I’ve waiting for that answer since 8th grade by the way; it was one of my first legitimate questions. I say legitimate because like all young men, I was/ am an idiot and sometimes asked ridiculous questions just to prompt the expression of exasperation that seemed to please my pride as I too suffer from its ill effects. Proverbs 29:23 makes my point here; I wish to retain my honor and thus, my first legitimate question is just that, I have yet to hear an answer beyond “read the bible.”
Next was a question that came to me in a dream once. I was about 16 and I wondered how come there is a bible in the first place? Is it a book of history, parables and educational tales, a book of premonitions or is it the word of god? I asked a Christian friend this question this was her answer to the best of my memory “it’s all of those, it is god’s word that tells the history of man, teaches him how to live a good life and get into heaven and tell the future of humanity so we know the god does have a plan.” The next few days were a blur in school, I only thought of her answer; geometry and English class took a back seat to this mental debacle. I thought about what I had read in the bible, what I had seen in life and noticed a stark contrast in the main point about it being god’s word. Why try to tell the prophets, who wrote god’s word, anything if we as human beings can never understand gods plan? Why give us mere mortals who now know of both good and evil reason a taste of further understanding and yet create us with a lack of ability to comprehend it all? Finally (its sort of a three part question) why create man with the ability to comprehend imperfection if it wasn’t expected of them to stay that way? Again, there pare parables in the bible about man being unequal to angels which may have the potential for understanding, but that’s still leaves me wanting in the sense that why make man, give him a book and never expect him to truly understand until they are in heaven when they no longer needs its lessons since heaven itself is perfection? You may say it’s not for us to know gods reason for this just like it’s not for the lower level employee to question and know what the board of directors and CEO are doing, fair answer sure but how come it’s not for us as mortal humans to know, especially when you give us an “answer” in the bible but are intentionally vague about it? That’s like the CEO giving out books to all the workers knowing that they would never understand it. The bible will not answer this question either, please cite this answer if it does...

I am not an ass

I’m not an ass.

You know, I hate re-registering to vote. Every time I check that “democrat” box next to party affiliation I feel like I am committing a felony, knowingly lying on a federal document. Every year since high school, I have consistently grew father and father apart from both the democrats and republicans. I am an equidistant from every party there, and any party that I ascribed to would be in part a lie.

I am not a democrat, I do not think that welfare should be easy to hold on to and I think it should be contingent on a persons will to better themselves and the life of their families.  I also hate the fact that democrats have no balls to get what they want, they are the party of politically correct, the ones that take offence to everything and offed no one. Get your hands dirty you jack asses.

I am not a republican, I do not think that welfare should be easy to hold on to and I think it should be contingent of a companies will to better the lives to their employees and the employees’ family. I hate the fact that Republicans consistently manipulate the facts to suit their argument, and whether they are “in the end” correct they had to make people believe in it through fallacies and political rallying off mindless troupes. I hate the mix of religious jargon in the majority of their underlying message and neglect to acknowledge that America is a secular nation.

I am not a libertarian, I think there should be some welfare to encourage and help people get back up on their feet to a reasonable point where they can afford to enjoy a vacation once a year and to buy their family and loved ones gifts at the holidays. If the government didn’t help these people, not many would. Celebrities and the wealthy do contribute to good causes, but a good cause isn’t a good solution. A good solution is a good cause and only the government will actually provide it since they are the ones supposed to take no profit and are hired to do what we ask them. I also think that drugs with the ability to instantly kill someone due to accidental overdose should not be unregulated.

I am not an independent; I actually like my right to vote for people in an office before I am left with the lesser of two idiots evils. I am not inclined to give up my voting liberties and electorate impact for the title of being a free thinking person with no allegiance to a philosophy.

I am not an ass; I do not have a trunk, nor does an arrow through and initialized “There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch" inspire many good feelings. I am a party of one, of nothing, of no party separation, no label and no symbol evoking patriotism and illogical attachment to people I’d wish were like-minded but simply play a role to fit their agenda. I am person, not a corporation, not a partisan snob or an all knowing all understanding member of the electorate. I do not want a television 30 second spot, a pamphlet or brochure to be able to summarize my ever evolving educated philosophy. I am member of the humanity party, my philosophy is to help those in need and see that those who can help are not too greedy (because let’s face it, a little greed can be good). I am the lone ranger who lies on a government form every time I change zip codes just so I can keep my rights as a citizen to vote for someone better than the not as bad as the other guy candidate. Call me an ass on paper, I’ll never be an ass.

a lesson learned through a hard head...

As it is, I am a person who prides himself on the fact that I don't rely on many people to live; thus it is difficult for me to accept that sometimes people are worth the chance to trust them. I learned over the past few days subtle facts of life, and relationships, that mean trusting someone with my reliance and that it is okay to ask for help when you need it.
Living the life that I have and getting as far as I have so far has lead me to a few quirks about my character and have impacted my world view in numerous ways. One way being, I have always felt that asking for assistance was synonymous with my lack of ability and ending in a resultant failure. I just recently found this one woman who, as amazed as I am, seems to really like me. I convince myself every time that I am with her that I should brush logic aside and my emotional connection is real and emotional thoughts are actually right this time. I sometimes forget that when I am not looking into her eyes that she may actually care about my wellbeing and wants to help me any way she can whenever I need it. She write things that make it seem as if she were idealistic, I’ve never had the chance to relax and just hope for the best so my idealistic nature has been whittled down to a microscopic size. Whether she knows it or not, she is changing me making me into a better person. She says that I am “awesome,” once even commented that I am “…a god among mere mortals, in intellect, finesse, and skill.” Whether or not she was simply trying to hype up my own ego, as if that needed any more inflation, I took her for her word that she truly thinks this highly of me. She doesn’t realize the impact she has on my composure and will when I am near her, she probably has less understanding of how much her words mean to me. I push my emotional attachment to the back of my mind and hope I don’t blurt out something that my lower mental framework is trying so desperately to push above my intrusive cerebral foundation. I wish I knew a way to convey the utter astonishment her existence throws to me. For someone to honestly convey those kinds of thoughts about me, makes me believe her world view is possible and that that rosier outlook on the world may not be so contrary to my realistic point of view. I hope she read this and sees that it, in this short time I’ve known her, she has helped change my life with such simple acts as telling me that she thinks I am a great guy. As selfish as this is, I hope I do not mess this up.